Matthew 21: 23-32 .... "Why then did you not believe him? ... neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things. ... John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him ... and even after you saw it, [the changed lives of prostitutes & tax collectors] you did not change your minds and believe him. (v. 25, 27, 32; The New Oxford Annotated Bible).
Do you think there's a possibility that God holds off responding to us if we're unwilling to admit motives or deal with Him truthfully? I'm coming to the realization that if I don't get at the 'real' kernel of things, the likelihood of genuine understanding, resolution or clarity is unlikely to be reached. I'm not referring to negating the possibility of salvation here, because I've failed to admit all my shortcomings to the Creator. But am I lessening blessings by holding onto things I don't readily verbalize or unveil? The elders and chief priests had their agenda when they questioned Jesus' authority in the opening verse of this week's text. By carefully (pridefully), not revealing the underlying reason for their questioning Jesus' authority, they were able to keep control and their devious scheme intact. Who knows, [it] could have gone well for them! They could have simply answered truthfully and wound up in a believing / teachable Gentile culture, benefitting self, family and Church, having had such an impactful lesson from the Master.
In my more 'doubting-times', I know that affirmative change, which I'm confident God wants in me and for me, is often slowed by my high opinion and conviction that I have a better way. At those times, my self-made-ness and stronger affinity to John Wayne than Jesus is out of balance. I even tend to reinforce my thinking with rationale like: 'this stance has served me well up to this point', rather than "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything that offends you ...." (Ps. 140:23-24).
My belief is strengthened, meditating on and putting these few thoughts together from a mere ten Gospel verses. The last few days, I've also had the blessing to hear Christ centered music and encouragement whereby a radio station's lifeline of fund-raising hinges on countless, humbling testimonies of believers embracing God's Spirit, across our troubled land.
I pray your belief increases & you too are engulfed by His Spirit..., Kevin T. for your Deacons!