Matthew 28:16-20 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
The Commissioning of the Disciples
16 Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Do you ever wonder what it might have been like to be one of Jesus’ 12 disciples? To hear Jesus speak words of blessing directed at you; to see him stand up for the poor and the outcast and the oppressed; to witness him heal the sick and raise the dead, to taste--no, to eat to your heart’s content-- of bread and fish that he multiplies on the mountain; to be battling against a gale force wind in a boat that you fear is about to sink and then to feel the wind simply stop when Jesus climbs aboard--I imagine the disciples must have filled with awe over and over again. And it seems to me that having this literally awesome first-hand experience of the Son of God day in and day out should have made faith easy for them, shouldn’t it? And yet, it didn’t.
Even in our Scripture reading for this morning, which takes place after Jesus has been raised from the dead, faith is not easy. In this passage in Matthew’s Gospel, the disciples are seeing Jesus for the first time after the resurrection--and yet, even as they come face to face with their resurrected redeemer, their faith wavers. We are told, in verse 17, that “when they saw him, they worshipped him, but some doubted.”
I don’t know about you, but I confess that my first reaction when reading this scripture is a little bit judgmental. How could any of them, at this point, still doubt Jesus? And then i start going through the list of the disciples and wondering which one of them could have been the doubter. Thomas, of course, is the obvious choice. Poor guy. To make one mistake--to shoot off your mouth doubting the Lord-- and then have it recorded in the Gospel of John for everyone to read for 2000 years has got to stink. But, I digress… The commentators on this particular scripture passage are not talking about Thomas. The phrase “but some doubted” can also be translated, “they doubted”-- meaning that “everyone doubted.” Scholars tell us that the best interpretation of this verse is that the very same people who worshipped Jesus--all of the disciples--also doubted him. (New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary, Vol. VIII, p. 502; Stanley Saunders and David Lose from textweek.com.) Which is so human of them.
Let’s think for a minute--what causes doubt? Speaking for myself, what causes me to doubt is when I see evidence that seems to contradict what I believe. I imagine that the same was true for Jesus first disciples. They believed all that Jesus taught them--that God is good, that God’s kingdom, God’s realm of love and light, justice and peace, healing and hope had come near-- and would prevail. They believed that God would never give them more than they could handle. And then things happened that seemed to contract those beliefs: one of Jesus’ closest followers betrayed him; power-hungry religious leaders had him arrested; the justice system that tried him was corrupt; and his punishment was brutal--to be put to death on a cross. It’s hard to believe in a kingdom of light and love, justice and peace, healing and hope in the face of betrayal and brutality. I can understand why the disciples--all of them--succumbed to doubt.
The Greek word for doubt used in our Scripture passage is “distazo.” It means literally “being of two minds” about something. (Stanley Saunders from textweek.com) I think of it like this: in one part of our mind, like the first disciples, we believe strongly that God’s kingdom will prevail, and we are willing to do all that we can to live according to Kingdom values. But in the other, opposite part of our mind, like the disciples, we see how so much in this world is aligned against the values of God’s kingdom, and it breaks our hearts. There is so much pain, violence, injustice. Some of it just happens, as a consequence of living in the natural world. Some of it is caused by people, intentionally or unintentionally. Like the first disciples, we too have flawed systems with racism built into them. Like the disciples, we too have power-hungry leaders whose actions spur violence against innocent people, especially against those with black and brown skin. And then, because of all of these things, part of our mind starts to question: maybe God’s Kingdom is not as strong as we’d hoped. Maybe it won’t prevail after all. We start to doubt.
So what can we do about it? How can we get rid of our doubt? I don’t think we can. And I don’t think Jesus calls us to stop doubting. Jesus calls us to action, despite our doubts and fears. Jesus calls us-- like he called the first disciples--to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.”
“Go,” says Jesus. Go make disciples. And in case you’re wondering if Jesus is talking about going door to door with Bibles and pamphlets, he’s not. The word “disciple” means someone who is learning. Learning in community how to live out the kingdom values that Jesus taught. In other words, Jesus is saying, “Go and establish communities of people who learn together how to enact the vision of love and light, peace and justice, healing and hope that God calls us to. Go do your part to learn how to work together to establish God’s kingdom on earth. And make sure that it is a kingdom--a realm--made up of people from ALL nations. People from all backgrounds. All races. All socio economic groups. All sexual orientations. All walks of life. In other words, make sure that when you do your part to establish God’s kingdom of love and light, justice and peace, healing and hope, make sure that no one is excluded.
Franklin Federated Church, you are in an interim time between settled pastors, and it is an interim time like no other. Normally, in an interim time, there is a lot of change, but usually it’s just change in the local church, not in the whole society. Our whole world is going through huge changes right now, starting with the corona pandemic, which has affected not only the physical health of 6.29 million people worldwide (statistics from Wikipedia on Jun), but has also wreaked havoc with the world economy. In our country, it has also brought to light the racism and discrimination inherent in all our systems that makes it so much harder for black and brown people to thrive. The changes we are going through as a world are scary--some of them are heart-breaking!-- but our faith reminds us that even in the midst of fear and violence and heartbreak, there is some good news. Jesus tells his disciples, “Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” These scary changes that our world is going through--we do not have to go through alone. Jesus is with us. God is with us. The One who loves us more than we could ever ask or imagine is with us and will not let us go.
What that means practically is that as we work and worship together, learning how to establish God’s kingdom of love and light, peace and justice, healing and hope, God will give us strength to move through the changes and thrive. As we move into this interim time, down the line in a few months, we will engage in a formal process to figure out more specifically what Vision God is calling Franklin Federated Church to embrace. But, in the meantime, may we continue to look to Jesus, who will give us strength despite our doubts.
Let me close with a prayer written by Rev. Arianne Braithwaite Lehn, from her book called Ash and Starlight: prayers for the chaos and grace of daily life
This prayer is entitled, “When I need to do something scary.”
O God,
I know I need to take
this courageous next step,
But the vulnerability paralyzes me.
The status quo is unsustainable,
Yet I grasp for its hollow promises of
safety and stability.
If I don’t do the thing I know I must,
My soul will shrivel.
But if I do?
Thick insecurities cloak me, God,
With questions I’m afraid to answer:
Who am I to think i can do this?
Who am I to speak up and out?
Who am I to say you’ve directed me
Out of the boat and onto these waves?
My fear of others thwarts me, God,
With sinister scoffs and prickly judgment.
What if they don’t believe me?
What if they judge me?
What if they think I’m ridiculous,
or arrogant, or selfish?
What if I fail?
What if I’m a fool?
Fatalism is my forte.
You promise, God, you’re the Great I AM--
The One who will be with me
As I face this scary step,
And the next one after that.
You’ll patiently prod
As I relentlessly doubt.
You’re simply inviting me
To say yes to this first step.
Dissipate the power of
My “who am I’s” as I hear your voice,
My “what if they’s” as I see your face,
My “what if I’s” as I feel your hand.
Make my feet follow my breath, God--
exhaling what was needed before,
inhaling what’s asked of me now.
Keep me walking forward,
Courageous albeit shaky.
Give me trust and faithfulness
As my guardrails.
Here we go.
Amen.
Rev. Dr. Marlayna Schmidt
Franklin Federated Church, UCC
Franklin, MA
June 7, 2020