Psalm 32: 1 - 11. "The Lord says, I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with a bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you." (v. 8-9, NRSV)
One of my few experiences with either horse or mule was as a 10 year old, with an unbridled colt. My Dad was baby-sitting a pair of a friend's colts for a weekend and this spunky male was tied to a tree next to our house with reins only, ergo, lacking saddle or the bridle & bit, God mentions above. My Sat.-afternoon-napping father was unaware of my taking this guy out for a spin, which ended badly. No sooner had I mounted the beast when it bolted across the street and down the sidewalk through the schoolyard, without regard for my arms around its neck, my short life flashing through my mind or my imploring it to slow down. Surely this was my sister's idea, and isn't our temper often the manifestation of insisting on our own way?
Our Pastor Marlayna adeptly wove aspects of separation from God, like: guilt, confession, remorse, mercy, acceptance into a story of a woman trying to surprise her husband by reaping from investing a significant sum of cash. It too ended badly, until she got beyond her guilt by revealing her error and then getting into a dialog with the gracious spouse, whereby he enhanced their connectedness by looking at the mistake as a 'how-might-we' resolve the issue together opportunity. I find that the more willing I am to not succumb to the cultural adage that I need to be perfect and truly confess my short-comings to myself, God and another human, the lighter my burdens and greater my joy.
One of my talents at age 10 was the ability to fall and not get hurt. So, the un-bridled creature bolted, my guilt arose as I planned my dismount from the racing stallion; confession could be delayed. Terror was reigning now, the bit-less reins were useless and I prayed for mercy raining on me, if I lived. I would optimize my chin-tuck-dive / shoulder-roll on my dominant right-side as soon as Seabiscuit reached the field..... Bam, I did it (God did it for sure) with no brain injury nor bloodshed, just a healthy dose of shame. I slithered home with my tail between my legs. Dad didn't say much, he was a plumber, but a teacher in disguise and confident that a rebellion lesson had been gleaned by yours truly. He fetched my little pony from a familiar barn, curbing its temper with bridle / bit, and without fanfare or shaming. .... Now, doesn't Jesus commonly teach us in stories? I don't always make horse sense in the moment, but if I'm listening I can see forgiveness as a natural part of God's loving nature; especially when I do my part and bring Him my stuff.
Blessings on your Acceptance journey! Kevin T. and your Deacons